Fore Play

Gold is one of the BEST parties around
EdgyPlate A golf ball olive with a tee toothpick in a martini against a blue sky with clouds (symbolic of the 19th hole in golf)

Are we the only ones who think golfing and drinking are a great combo? Turns out, nope, we’re not. In fact, there’s quite a bit written about the two-in-one activity on line, with this bit of wisdom “There’s a fine line between enjoying an adult beverage whilst playing a round of golf…and getting completely tanked; driving your cart into the pond on 15; and getting banned for life from that particular establishment.”

Our source is, and the story by Greg D’Andrea is both funny and insightful. Greg writes, “There’s nothing worse than getting paired up with (or playing behind) a couple of sauced golfers. Drinking and golf can go hand-in-hand, but there’s an art to it. The trick is to drink enough to relax and enjoy yourself, but not so much that you can’t remember your round.”

Indeed. But, he says, if you are the type of golfer who has to be wasted to swing a club, maybe you should think about selling your clubs “on eBay and use the money to buy a keg.” And we know who you are, so don’t try to deny it.

If you don’t drink but golf with people who do, it’s in your best interest not to be anal about their fun. Greg says, “If your group of friends also happens to enjoy a few beers while being in each other’s company, then tossing that into the mix makes all the sense in the world. And this is a very important lesson to learn about golf: Your score is not the point…having fun is. You don’t have to be a good golfer to love golf – you just have to enjoy playing golf.

Just don’t get plastered – after all, there’s an art to drinking on the golf course.” There you go.

And if you’re That Guy in the middle of the range here, not a tee-totaler but not the court lush, you might be wondering if a brew or two or maybe even, oh, four might make you a better golfer. Don’t think you’re the first person to have asked that question. Turns out Dave Donelson at wondered the exact same thing.

In much the same way Bill Clinton said it depends on what “is” is, Dave posits that it all depends on what you mean by “better.” Funner, maybe. Funnier, probably. Dave and a group of “volunteers” went out to conduct a study and provide an answer.

The group he was in “figured a little ‘swing oil’ improved their game, although more than one confessed they really didn’t know. Or care.

Our volunteers didn’t shirk their responsibilities. They consumed anywhere from three to eight beers (yes, we were counting!) and hit 229 balls (not including warm-ups and goofing around) for the test. By the time they finished, five of them were over the DUI limit of 0.08% blood alcohol, and most of the rest were really, really close to it.

The results? Not surprisingly, the more beer you drink, the worse you play.”

So, does that mean…? Not necessarily, as he goes on to say, “… considering how many of the volunteers were slurring their words and telling raunchy, pointless jokes by the end of the test—the impact on their swings wasn’t too bad.”

So… does THAT mean? Well, no, not necessarily, as “five of the players got worse, and seven became just slightly better—or luckier. When you combine distance and accuracy, average player performance went down by about 4 percent when alcohol was involved.”

Perhaps this calls for another independent study conducted by, say, a group of volunteer Millennials? Just thinkin’…



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