Soooo, Millennial Moms, our burning question for today is this: What’s up with poop-themed food, anyway? We’ve all wondered, and we’ve all put in our two cents’ worth as to whence this fad came. Moose Poop and Bear Poop trail snack and chocolate-whatever obviously looks a little like you-know-what, but why does that make our kids all giddy and want to buy the stuff?
Well, we did a little sleuthing, and to be honest, all we found were psychobabble articles telling us our kids have some sort of fascination with bodily functions in general and excrement in particular. Puhleeze. Like we didn’t know that???
Anyway, nothing seems to bring a family together quiet like bathroom humor, and so, in an effort to be “all together” and make merry in this merriest of seasons, we’re sharing some fun recipes that, yes, keep the ol’ poop ball rolling. These are fun and fast and taste good and make our kids laugh as we hit the kitchen together. They’re also as healthy as you care to make them. The first is more or less realistic, and the second is flat-out hilarious. Enjoy!
Holly Jolly Reindeer Poop, as adapted from
Makes 60 pieces
1 (16 ounce) package white candy coating, coarsely chopped
1 (4 ounce) bar German sweet chocolate, chopped
1 (16 ounce) package semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 (16 ounce) jars dry roasted peanuts
Place the white candy coating, German sweet chocolate, chocolate chips, and peanuts into a slow cooker. Set the cooker to Low, cover, and gently heat the candy for 1 1/2 hours without stirring. After 1 1/2 hours, stir the mixture, and spoon out by teaspoons onto waxed paper. Allow to cool and set, about 45 minutes.
Unicorn Poop Cookies, as adapted from
Makes 24 cookies
1 c sugar
1/2 c butter – softened
1/2 c shortening
3 1/2 tbs cream cheese – softened
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp almond extract
2 c all purpose flour
Food coloring – rainbow effect is nice
Silver candy balls, if desired
Food sprinkles add a nice touch
So does sparkle gel, and of course, edible glitter
1. Combine butter, shortening and cream cheese in a large bowl, beat together until smooth. Add sugar and salt. Beat until combined. Beat in egg and almond extract until combined and gradually add the flour beating until combined.
2. Form dough into a ball with your hands and then into a log shape, divide the log shape into six portions (or how ever many colors you want).
3. Place each portion of dough into individual wraps of plastic and tint the dough different colors (See Below for instructions on how to tint the dough)
4. Chill tinted dough in the refrigerator 1 hour or freezer 15-20 minutes.
5. Divide each tinted chilled dough ball into 8 equal pieces.
6. Take one piece of each colored dough (leaving the rest in the fridge while you work) and roll out like a rope or snake on your counter-top. If you use a piece of waxed paper on the counter, you shouldn’t have to add any flour.
7. Roll the rope shape to about 6 inches long. Continue rolling all the colors and stacking them into a pile. Gently press the ropes together and roll the large multicolored “rope” on the counter to round and smooth it and if desired to lengthen it to 10 to 12″.
8. Cut the multicolored “rope” into two pieces, using both hands, roll with your palms in different directions on both end of the rope pieces to twist it gently.
9. Coil the rope into a poop shape, using your imagination as to what you think unicorn poop should look like
10. Press in some silver candy balls (dragee) into the dough pieces to decorate if desired. Place dough on greased cookie sheet (or one covered with parchment or silicone mat) and bake at 375 F for 8-10 minutes until cookies are set and bottoms are light brown, they will not spread very much.
11. Cool on wire rack.
12. Coat with sparkle gel and/or edible glitter to give them some sparkle and add some sprinkles to the still wet gel for more texture. Let cookies dry completely before stacking.
Dough Coloring Tint
Important: Do this prior to chilling the dough, so that you don’t undo the chilling process with your body heat.
1. Place a ball of cookie dough in the middle of large piece of plastic wrap.
2. Poke a well in the center with your thumb.
3. Add the food coloring to the well and then fold the dough over the coloring.
4. Wrap it in the plastic wrap, and begin kneading the food coloring into your dough.
This may take a while and you may find that you need more food coloring (Hint: Colored Cookie Dough bakes lighter than what you see when you first tint the dough, once you’ve gotten the right color tint, add more).